What does the word salvation mean to you?

You know...for the most part, I find myself pretty accepting of other people. It is my fear that anytime I open up to new people and share those deep thoughts and feelings I have about my past, that they will be afraid to come to me and share their deep thoughts and feelings because it may not have been as traumatic as mine. I hardly ever think this way, and to think that maybe someone thinks that I do is hard for me. I realize that everyone has their "big event" in life, their "big story", and I want to be able to connect with those people on their level.

BUT HOLY CRAP SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO PULL DOWN THEIR PANTS AND BEAT 'EM WITH A DOWEL ROD. What upsets me the most is people who let that big thing overcome them and then choose the easy, wrong way out of things. I understand why people turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, violence, laziness and the wide variety of other messed up things to get involved with, believe me. I'm human, and I've struggled with giving in to those things to find a little bit of relief. Everyone does. The path you choose is what separates the strong from the weak. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm fed up with the people who have gone through relatively quiet lives who turn to these as a way "out", and trying to understand what exactly they're getting "out" of.

So, as a disclaimer, I want to hear everything about you. I want to know your struggles, your pains, your joys. That's part of what makes relationships with other human beings so phenomenal. But please, if you are not going to choose the right side of things, if you are not going to choose to try and get through it, to learn from it, to be strengthened by it, then do not turn to me, because all you are going to hear is the rude truth of the matter.

There. I feel a bit better.

The mahogany chairs with their olive green plastic-like cloth cushions are more familiar to me than my bed. The deafening quiet and swish of papers are sounds not foreign to my ears. The smell of clean carpets, old hard-bound book covers, and every once in a while a waft of my neighbors coffee all visit my nose. An Ode to Morris, I shall write.

I am a college kid.

And I fell asleep in the library today while studying. Ay yi yi, tis gonna be a long week. I can't even taste thanksgiving break yet, it is too far away. This is week 2 of the series "Kat's College Hell Weeks". I'm sure I'll lose count eventually. :P

In other news, thanks everyone, for your well wishes, prayers, acts of love, and the laughs given to me this past Thursday. From the moment I woke up I felt more love than sorrow, and the tears in my eyes that day were due to that, as well. I love and appreciate everyone who has been/is still supporting me through this. I can't give up on God when I have a day like that. :)

Kat